How does your garden grow?

With lots of failure and lots of shopping

In episode 8 of “With Love, Meghan,” — a show that confused me, angered me, delighted me, and entertained me —the revered author and chef Alice Waters tells Meghan Markle/Sussex that having your own garden is like printing money.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

It absolutely is not, Alice Waters. At least not in my experience.

Unless you’re growing marijuana or own acres of farmland, there is no money to be made from gardening. In fact, for most of us, gardening is just a hobby. Sometimes an expensive hobby.

So why do it?

Because I freaking love it.

I get such a dopamine hit when I witness green things grow. There are days when the thought of checking on my plants’ progress is what gets me out of bed in the morning. Which, admittedly, does not speak well of my mental health. But could a depressed person make this???

Yes.

Second to my brain’s chemical reactions at the sight of baby plants emerging from soil is my love for the taste of homegrown vegetables. I do believe with all my heart that a tomato from my garden is superior to any tomato available at even the fanciest grocery stores. And having access to fresh herbs and produce in my backyard helps my meal-planning-adverse brain execute meals quickly.

But I think the real root reason (pun sort of intended) I enjoy gardening is because I used to think I would never be any good at it. And now, after years and years of trial and error in an attempt to prove myself wrong, I am good at it. And I get a real sense of accomplishment when I successfully plant, care for, and harvest a crop.

This overcoming of the odds is possible because there’s no such thing as a green thumb. There are simply people who have learned from their gardening failures and become better for it, and those who killed one plant and gave up.

I’m a good gardener now because I was a bad gardener for a long time.

Gardening is just like any other skill. It takes practice and increased knowledge to get good at it.

And the right tools, the necessity of which I have organized by gardening commitment level below:

Mildly excited about gardening

You’re probably just starting out to see if gardening is something you can do/enjoy. If you need a boost of confidence, I recommend planting a zucchini. It’s unkillable and practically an invasive species. If you’re hoping to get a lot of meals out of your efforts, I recommend a tomato plant for a summer filled with pasta and salsa. Maybe you have limited space, in which case an herb garden is a great starting point. Once you’ve determined what you want to plant, here are the things you’ll need:

Sunlight

Find a spot that gets a lot of sun — likely southern facing. Most summer crops need a full day of sunlight to thrive. If you’re short on sun, stick with flowers and look for partial sun labels.

Soil

Some people are lucky enough to have dirt that contains the right combination of nutrients to support a garden and just needs a bit of fluffing. Most of us, though, need to buy soil. To find out exactly what kind of soil you need, I recommend visiting a local garden store, telling an expert what you’re planning to grow, and asking what combination you’ll need. The employees at my local IFA are the nicest and most knowledgeable people on the planet.

Pest prevention

If you have deer in your area, you need a fence. I promise. I tried every deer repellent method from coyote pee to Irish Spring soap shavings, and all I was left with was half-eaten plants and a smelly corner of my yard. So I finally caved and got a fence.

To prevent weeds, I have raised beds in metal bins similar to these. The distance from the ground makes it so I only have to pull the occasional weed instead of fighting an onslaught all season.

Fertilizer

I fertilize my plants once a week or so. An all-purpose fertilizer is fine. No need to get too spendy. I put a scoop in a watering can and water the base of my plants (Watering the leaves causes scorching, so always water the root.)

Fairly committed to a good garden

You’re probably a couple of years into your gardening journey and have a few successful zucchini harvests under your belt. You’re hooked on the thrill of picking ripe tomatoes and are ready to expand your garden. Here’s what you’ll need:

Drip irrigation system

You may think you’ll be diligent about watering your garden every day. And maybe you will be. But what if you want to go out of town? What if you forget or get kind of lazy? What if you get so tired of the summer heat that you don’t want to spend a single second outside? In all those cases, you’ll be glad you had the good sense to install a drip irrigation system. I’ll be honest, I hired someone to install one for me. But you can do it yourself by poking holes in this tubing and connecting it to your sprinkler system. I just didn’t have the patience for that.

Good starter plants

Not from Home Depot. Sorry. Learn from my mistake. To prevent trying to rehabilitate sick plants, get them from a specialty garden shop where they will have been loved and cared for before coming home with you.

I hate to brag, but I grew these from seeds. Just kidding. I love to brag.

Cages

Get cages for your tomato plants and climbers to support healthy growth and the best possible fruit.

Your garden is all you think about

Welcome. You’re now an obsessive. And probably ready to invest some real money in your gardening success. Here’s some stuff you’re gonna love:

Grow light

I have this one in my storage room. It hangs over some wire shelving where I have herbs and lettuces in the winter, and currently my little baby seedlings that I’ll move to the outdoor garden in mid-May. (I had Chat GPT create a planting schedule for Zone 6 Hardiness to know exactly when to start seeds indoors and when to move them outside. My lettuce is already in the dirt and thriving.)

Over the long term, like the really long term, this light is actually a money saver because now all my plants start from seeds, which cost a fraction of the cost of starter plants. Wait. Was Alice Waters right?!!!

I also use the light to care for ailing houseplants. But that’s another post. Maybe. Also, last year I started a bunch of floral perennials from seed, and they’re starting to reappear, and it’s making me very emotional.

Compost

Making compost isn’t necessary. But it is fun.

I started with these twenty-dollar compost bags last summer, and after months and months of stewing, I now have some rich, home-grown fertilizer for this year’s garden.

I store my kitchen scraps in this kitchen compost bin under the sink (the filter prevents stink) and take it outside once every few days, depending on the weather and or my laziness. I add some accelerator with water about once a week, and roll the bags on the lawn to get the compost mixed. All of my dead leaves, branches, and clippings go into the compost to make it a 2 to 1 brown to green ratio. It’s my favorite science experiment, and my kids get just as into it as I do, often scolding their father for throwing apple cores in the trash instead of the compost bin.

Now that I know I enjoy the composing process, and now that my tax refund has hit, I’ve gone ahead and bought myself this luxury compost bin, which will hopefully keep out more bugs than the bags and be easier to mix.

Proper defenses

Because I’ve been at this for a decade now, I know what I’m up against and how to prepare. For instance, I know that grasshoppers are common in this area, so I’ve stocked up on bran. I know that my tomatoes often get blossom rot, so I’ve been prepping the soil with crushed eggshells and have Rot-Stop on hand.

The knowledge that this year’s failures are next year’s successes

Last year I grew a bunch of cucumbers that were inedible.

This year I know they need a trellis, and I’m starting with the best quality seeds. There’s know wisdom quite like the wisdom gained from failure, and no confidence quite like knowing what you’ve done wrong before and what you’ll do better in the future. And that’s why I love gardening so freaking much. Even if it never prints money.

Now, I’m wondering if you’re interested in a similar post about house plants? Or am I vastly overestimating the average reader’s tolerance level?

What Rebbie bought this week

A minivan, and I’m overjoyed! I’ve long been baffled by so many friends’ embarrassment over driving minivans. The transporting of kids and backpacks and groceries and beach umbrellas and suitcases and bunk beds from Facebook marketplace makes up such a significant part of my life right now. I’m so excited for it to be a little bit easier!! I have nothing to prove!

What Meg bought this week

Intermezzo on the Kindle. This is my first Sally Rooney book, and I’m wondering if the prose takes a minute to get used to for most readers?

The Baggu Cloud Bag thanks to Rebbie’s suggestion.

More strawberries. To be eaten with some granola my friend made from this recipe.